NEWSMAX: Retired pastor Det Bowers, who is challenging Sen. Lindsey Graham in South Carolina’s GOP primary, once said in a sermon that women caused most divorces — even in cases where the husband was unfaithful.
Politico obtained an audio recording of a sermon that Bowers gave while he was pastor of Christ Church of the Carolinas in Columbia, S.C., in which he blames divorce on women who love their children more than their husbands. Bowers’ son, Joel, said the sermon was delivered in 2001, but the Politico report indicated the date was uncertain.
Calling it “abominable idolatry” and “unlawful worship,” Bowers said the “vast preponderance” of divorces proved that men cheat on their wives because they devote too much love and devotion towards their children… (more)
EDITOR: Wives might not like to face this, but there is much truth in what Pastor Det Bowers suggests. Once the first child arrives, it becomes the center of the household. And as others arrive, they to take primary importance in the view of the mother.
This is human nature, essential for the survival of the specie, and not to be denigrated. However, women need to aware of this tendency and thus not take husbands for granted.
Before children come, well married people devote much of their time and a lot of affection to one another. When the children grow up and leave home, they are faced with restoring that relationship. Many marriages end up in divorce as the children grow up. Others strengthen as the husband and wife rediscover the attractions that brought them together in the first place.
Many fathers of young children stray from their marriage because they feel lonely, virtually an outsider. This is especially true now that many families no longer see the father as the indispensable bread winner.
Let’s not blame the pastor for preaching an important message. Children do come first. Mothers need the support of husbands. But husbands should not be taken for granted.
As a veteran of 45 years of married life I can say that what the pastor and Newslanc says is true.
As a new mom, I can see how quickly the culture of our home changed upon the arrival of our firstborn. I appreciate Pastor Bowers reminder not to neglect my husband during this time.
My precious husband chose to run along side me when he vowed to take my hand in marriage. Now, I need to remember my vow first to him so our daughter may know genuine love and security in our home.
Newslanc, “take husbands for granted?” You can not be serious. You actually think this to be the cause of the majority of divorces. This is merely another step in the feminization of men. “Many fathers of young children stray from their marriage because they feel lonely, virtually an outsider.” Newslanc, surely you don’t believe this. Are men this emotionally fragile today? Blame your children’s mother for infidelity? The shifting of blame is rampant in our culture but this goes way too far.
EDITOR: We said it and do believe it is a factor in men ‘going astray’.
Det, it was a mistake to preach that sermon. You’ve compounded your error by linking to this article. First, 95%? Vast preponderence? These are easily refuted. This proposition is preposterous and insulting. Never mind the fact that it is seemingly an effort to absolve an adulterer of his guilt. I’ve been married for 34 years and have known many people who have gone through divorce. I’ve never known of one case where the cause was a mother loving “their” children too much.
Det, you have two problems here. The first is your assertion regarding the cause of divorce. The second is that it was simply a lie to say that “95%” of divorces are caused by children who are loved too much and that you concluded this from your own personal marital counseling sessions with couples. That simply is not true and would be strongly disputed by any marriage counselor. My wife and I visited your church years ago. We did not return because of your sermon content. It’s non-biblical at best and unbiblical at worse. There’s not one jot or tittle to support this outlandish shifting of blame.
Reminds me of Adams’ ploy: “God, you gave me this woman….” Your hermeneutics is extremely faulty and this is evidenced in the church constitution you authored for CCOC. I would be happy to sit down with you and go through this document line-by-line. The owner of this blog has permission to pass my email address to Det Bowers. I strongly recommend you remove the link from your twitter to this article.
Newslanc, it is a giant leap from “is a factor” to “vast preponderance” and “I find that in about 95 percent of broken marriages, though the husband’s the one that ran out on his wife, the wife loves her children more than she does her husband.” Det is obviously not saying that it is a factor. I would also argue that a factor does not equate to being “an abominable idolatry.”
I would agree that it might be a factor but so are a million other things such as shopping, golf, hunting, fishing, singing in the choir, etc. Det went far beyond saying that which is clear from the words he used and the manner in which he delivered them.
Newslanc, have you ever know a child who had been loved excessively by their mother? Have you ever known one man who would look you in the eyes and tell you that he was unfaithful because his wife loved their children too much? This is absurd.
EDITOR: The issue was whether the wife was neglectful of the husband, not that she loved the children more.
This is not a political issue for me. I am not a supporter of any political candidate.
Here’s the quote: ” I find that in about 95 percent of broken marriages, though the husband’s the one that ran out on his wife, the wife loves her children more than she does her husband.” That’s the issue according to Det.
But let’s take your point: “The issue was whether the wife was neglectful of the husband.” Have you ever known a man who gave this as the reason for his infidelity?
EDITOR: I don’t think that is unusual explanation for why males seek alternative female relationships. Furrthermore, I suspect that in many cases they don’t recognize or at least do not articulate why they feel so lonely.
You certainly cannot believe that husband neglect accounts for 95% of all divorces.
This is not the only bizarre teaching of Det Bowers. It’s just the only one currently accessible since Det took his sermons down from the internet. This will be the tip of the iceberg if politico has more sermons.