NEW YORK TIMES: … Dr. [Margie] Nichols says kinky couples have the best sex of any long-term couples she sees. Because of this, she finds herself “selling” their principles to vanilla (nonkinky) heterosexuals.…
“Kinky couples plan sex,” she said, “and simmer for days in advance. They emphasize quality of encounter over frequency of encounters. They practice variety and exploration. They don’t judge a partner’s desires. They discuss and negotiate sexual acts, and they make a clear demarcation between ‘normal’ couple zone and ‘sex zone,’ allowing them to be totally immersed in an erotic space.”…
“Many couples haven’t come to terms with the question, ‘Is it O.K. if my husband or wife masturbates?’ ” he said. “If you haven’t come to terms with that, or with the fact that most adults have sexual fantasies, then how can you have a productive, collaborative conversation about pornography? The country is flooded with high-quality free porn, and the problem is that people are anxious and secretive because they’re getting the message, ‘If you watch that stuff, I’ll kill you.’ … (more)
EDITOR: Except perhaps for the very elderly, a strong sex life is essential for a successful marriage. Too little attention is given to this by couples, hence over time a lot of unnecessary divorces.
