Gen. David Petraeus has been married for thirty-eight years and he presumably loves his wife and family. He also developed a strong attachment to his biographer. Would it have been more desirable for him to have filed for divorce, rather than carry on an extra marital relationship?
Ask someone what is the first commandment in the Bible and they likely will recite from the Ten Commandments, which is incorrect. In fact, the first of 613 is “Be fruitful and multiply.” It recognizes the importance of the strong sexual urges that exist in most males. (We cannot speak for females although we expect it isn’t that much different.)
The 60s, 70s and 80s did not take straying by married males that seriously. No less a warrior than Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower reportedly had a relationship with a female aide throughout World War II. Then there was Jack Kennedy, LBJ and Bill Clinton, and there may have been other presidents. (Jimmy Carter acknowledged thinking about it!) None of whom divorced their mates, were divorced, and presumably wanted to be divorced.
Although infidelity is not to be encouraged and in perfect marriages may not even be fantasized, in many if not most cases it hardly does as much harm as would divorce.
Superficial dalliances and sex worker encounters often serve as a pressure relief which we suspect actually help to preserve marriages. Someday a second wife or husband may be permitted under the law. It seems nutty for a long term and beloved spouse to be set aside to permit a second marriage. Multiple mates were the case in the past and are still the custom elsewhere.
If everyone would mind their own business and leave the circumstances of relationships to the participants, we would all be better off.
As for us, we have been faithfully married now for 21 years. But the writer is an old man!
