Rahna Rizzuto defends her own family’s experience in “The Gender Gap in Motherhood”:
“How can you leave your children?” It was the question leveled at me when I was away from my children for four months to interview the atomic bomb survivors in Japan. I heard it again, when I was facing divorce and my husband and I had to decide what was best for the children. We decided that he would keep primary physical custody and, as a joint legal custodian, I would move down the block and be a very involved, noncustodial mother. It worked for us. It was the best choice for the children in a time of heartbreak and loss.
“But the rest of the world, it seems, could not agree.”
“An article about my choices that was published on Salon.com generated so much public conversation that it continued on television. Rage on behalf of my not-actually-abandoned children can be extreme. The responses directly to my website split along clear gender lines, and expose our great anxiety, not only about the perfect motherhood ideal that we can’t live up to, but also about our transforming family structures and our high divorce rate…”
WATCHDOG: Whatever works best for the children. Better a happy, loving mother down the street than a frustrated, discontented mother at home. A wag of the tail.