A vibrator is not a substitute for a partner. But how do you tell men that?

GUARDIAN: A recent novel by dude-lit king Chuck Palahniuk imagined a dystopian future in which “a billion husbands” are replaced by a wildly effective vibrator. Ian Kerner, a sex therapist in New York, told me that, based on what he sees in his practice, it’s “fairly common for men to be threatened” by vibrators. My husband even once looked at my Hitachi and said, “How can I even compete with that thing?”

But whatever men think, women don’t use vibrators to substitute for intercourse with men; many women actually want to use them with their partners but aren’t quite sure how to bring it up without triggering their insecurities…

But if Herbenick’s research is correct – or is at least increasingly correct – then it’s likely that men are adopting a more pragmatic (and realistic) approach to their partners’ pleasure: listening to what she says is going to work, and doing that. So where do you start?… (more)

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